Thursday, October 22, 2009


Today a new page
And all that old rage
Left to rot
Masked by jasmine and forget- me- nots
The Robin sings
A tuneless tune
And roses blossom for the moon
We’ve been here before
Your head bent at my front door
And nothing makes it feel the same
And there is no one left to blame
I find myself wishing for something beyond myself
This is how autumn must feel
Longing for spring
This is the start of suffering.

In pursuit of Peace

Give me peace
I’ll trade my heart in
For a breath of air
Lose myself out there
Venture boldly with a song
If you could tell me
What went wrong?


This place is half-light
And you’re a slice of moon
Beyond the shore line
The waves roll into the rocks
Like old lovers
With all those barbs and hurts
The silver fish
Sing lullabies to the sky
And you are too far away
I don’t know how to quell the loss
How to start again
Beyond tomorrow hope comes like tears
Washing anew these old eyes
And I am birthed again into your arms.
Old cuts sting in salt water still
And dreams recall themselves like long lost friends
I can’t get back to paths without stones and slippery moss
I stumble and fall
I know the light will find me
It always does.

Thursday, October 15, 2009


The lover you love no longer knows how to be a lover
Unschooled and misused
He sits like a rag doll
Overstuffed on his own waste
His hands withered away
His mouth some wound
His tongue lost in memories of kisses
And salt water
The lover no longer recognizes herself
In the bandaged afterthought of his smile
Games played deliver more loss than wins
And she can do nothing but split herself in two
And wait
The lover they loved no longer knows how to be a lover to them
Fragmented and dejected
He shoots paper arrows from a broken bow
Cursing Cupid that foolish winged boy
Cutting valentines out of skin – colouring out of the lines
Words like hallmark greeting cards
Inspire such tiny flames
Hardly worth the underwear
The lover I love will learn to be a lover
I will untie her
Set her about your heart like a noose
Whispering secrets in your mouth
Filling up your god shaped hole
She’ll come forth like a siren from the rocks
Undone by lust
And then the lover that I love will know that she never really forgot
Her own undoing.


I’m so dark
I make night look bright
Luminous even
Lost in the loop of Dante’s inferno
I stretch supine and feline
Over the ache of myself
Trying to clip those old cling ons
That seek to make me their own
Twice I found myself on the precipice
Looking down on people like ants
And felt the drone of the city and myself too much to bear
Yet here I sit
With my cigarette lit
Watching daylight make a mockery of my out-of-time self
I tell a good joke
I’ll have you smiling like a child at Santa
But beyond today
I’ll be on the floor
In pseudo-artistic pieces of myself
Sucking up filth like a sponge
Hovering over the lie of myself
Bleeding into the soap suds
Like Plath on acid
And then you’ll see the core of me
And the broke down sum of my parts
Maggot infested decay
Of one sorry life
And then who’ll be laughing?
Tell me then
Who will then be the butt of your jokes?
The ambulance sirens hypnotize me
And the green of my soul numbs the red of my brain
And I felt like snow would clean me out
That pure cold longing
That wintry blight
Yet silence stamps on my temples
And calls out my name
And I’d rather be dry then out there in the rain
And I’d rather be dark
So I’ll recognize light
And I’d rather be wrong
Than pretend to be right
I’d rather be loud
Then never speak out
I’d rather believe
Than live in self-doubt
At least in the sorrow I know who I am
Fretting against myself and the world
Spewing up pieces of old reveries
Pretending is feeling without sympathy
The words are small bullets
I load in my gun
The killing is over
When the last joy is gone
They’ll splatter and splutter
And fall to the ground
We have to be lost in order to be found.
You’ll remember the blood on your linoleum floor
You’ll remember the blackbird who can’t sing anymore
You’ll remember the sensation of your heart going numb
The obliteration of self and what you’ve become
You’ll remind them all
That it’s never too late
To call up the universe and say
“Fuck you fate”.