For Fiona

I remember you
In your uniform
As if I watched you through a hole in the wall
Even when they told us you were missing
I would remember your colt-like gait
Wispy blonde – almost white hair
Something fragile about you

Years later stories would unfold like bandages
Had he sold you for drug trafficking?
Were being prostituted in Saudi Arabia trying to make your way home?
Were you alive?
Were you dead?
And then the psychics came
Some said you were overseas
Others said you were locked in a house
Some believed you were dead

Years passed, your parents thin and desperate
Shrunk with the memory of you
Now, today you have come to haunt me –
Your face captured age twelve forever

This psychic says you are dead
Dragged and bound
You were offered to satan for the solstice
Your body incinerated

And the thoughts are so ugly and so despairing
And I can’t associate your pain and suffering
With your face
As if captured through a hole in the wall
Smiling, walking
The blueness of the sky behind you
And the future
A closing door.